Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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