Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
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