This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
