As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
