once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
