peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
