I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
