UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
