its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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