It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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