I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
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