Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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