he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
