There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
