Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
