are you still at the devil's house?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
