Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
