wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
