You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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