No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
