This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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