You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
