You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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