Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
