Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
