I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
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