insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
