So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
