Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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