If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
