Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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