he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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