cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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