If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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