he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
We're too hungover to prance.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
