One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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