You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
