You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
