he was CRYING into my vagina
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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