guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
