...so i touched it.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
A+ Viking dick
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
