butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
