I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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