This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
