Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
