i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
