member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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