I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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