I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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