your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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